Chicken Philosopher T-Shirts

"So much for Reincarnation!"

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

Cat Reunion

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Yes, one is a dog."

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

PET THEORIES

'Hard to follow...'

"He doesn’t say much, but he thinks a lot."

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

"Dogs are men."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"How do I get down?"