Bird Philosopher Gifts

'Polly want many things, but a cracker isn't among them.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"The Supreme Court says a corporation is a 'person?' Well, have you ever tried to take a corporation out for a nice, friendly beer?"

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Young lady, I'm afraid existential despair is no excuse for not eating your lima beans.'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Flea Philosophy.

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Cat got your tongue?"

'I had a very unhappy egghood....'

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

'What d'you mean, you're a Republican?'

"Bird of paradise, my ass."

"My idea of an agreeable person is one who agrees with me."

"Get a life!"

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

"I don't love you anymore. Let's just be friends."

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

The Hen Commandments.

Fish-losophy

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

"If man evolved from apes,does that mean we came from Sea Monkeys?"

'I think we're starting sex education too early.'

"I have no head for show business."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Closed for Summer.

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"Is 'Upstream' where we really want to be?"