Insect Humorist Gifts

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"Probably midges"

Butterfly Heimlich.

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'I Can't Believe It's NOT Dung!'

Centipede Hokey Pokey. 'You put foot number 17 in, you put foot number 17 out...'

Fly mugger mugging with fly swatter.

'Of course I don't mind you vomiting all over your food, but do you have to be so noisy about it?'

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Why do they call us pests?' 'We bite them.' 'We eat their food.' 'We give them the willies, and that's all there is to it.'

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

Roach Motel, larvae eat free.

"I think we better have a leg count."

"We love it, but how is the school system here? (We're expecting maggots.)"

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Scuba cow"

Hats and Food

'Jurassic Pork.'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

''What's in the bag, lady?''

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."