Insect Jokesters Gifts

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

You know, there is an easier way.

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

Centipede Hokey Pokey. 'You put foot number 17 in, you put foot number 17 out...'

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

At the signing of the Great Picnic Treaty.

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

"Do I know every strand back there? Nahhh! What's the worst that could happen?"

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

You've been playing around with that bug light again, haven't you?

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

Great, here come my husband's idiot buddies. Beer.

"Probably midges"

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

'Son, your mother and I feel you're old enough now to know the truth... You weren't adopted... You have the same crummy genes as everyone else in this family.'