Insect Jokesters Pillows

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

'Hey buddy, got any bad breath mints?'

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Yep, it says "pesticide"! Not only are they trying to kill us, they also insult us by calling us pests!"

"Don't worry - you've got to expect a few midge bites on holiday..."

'Extreme acupuncture.'

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Well Sir, it tastes like O-positive to me...'

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

"Oh goodie, pigs in a blanket."

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

Sorry, you can't claim depreciation on your wife.

You've been playing around with that bug light again, haven't you?

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

"Lose those fantasies of exacting vengeance from the afterlife. Our best hope is a mild case of salmonella."

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'

Dog spelled backward is GOD, cat is TAC, a pain in the butt.

'Do currants have wings?' - 'You've just swallowed a fly.'

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

"Probably midges"

"Do I know every strand back there? Nahhh! What's the worst that could happen?"

'Son, your mother and I feel you're old enough now to know the truth... You weren't adopted... You have the same crummy genes as everyone else in this family.'

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"