Poultry Jokester Gifts

Chicken Séance,

I've found you can say anything you like to them, as long as you're wagging your tail.

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

Phoning a Busy Sheep: 'Sorry I can't get to the phone right now, please make an animal noise after the bleat!'

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Hen Night

Cleaning the Horse

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

COWS: Spare cow

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

"I cross therefore I am."

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

Turkey tries using a trick t-shirt to avoid being selected for dinner.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

"Come on, Vinny! We already know you crossed the road. What we want to know is, why?"

'What's this?' - 'Your sealed orders, not to be opened till 7 furlongs.'

"And don't get me started about being henpecked. Why do you think I crossed the road in the first place?!"

'Hi, my name's Bernard and I'm an alcoholic...'

'When I'm in the saddle I'm part of the horse.' - 'Yes, but which part?'

"I don't know what it is, we just look fabulous in Cranberry."

Turkey with an ax to grind.

'Yeah, hi, Bob...when you asked me to pop in and feet Spot, I was kind of under the impression he was a dog!'

101 uses of a dead cat: chaps.

Rider Helping Horse Over the Jump

'It was just a matter of time, old cowpuncher, 'til one of them punched back.'

"So, why are you crossing the road?"

Kid to dad about pet door on fishbowl: 'It's a dogfish.'

'Ok Phil, you can stop the trash talk now!'