Poultry Humor Gifts

'Well, that's one off my bucket list!'

The Rooster Comedian.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Two roads diverged in a wood and I didn't know which one to cross."

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Hen Night

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Mom, am I my brother's peeper?'

"I'm a free woman. Edgar tried to cross the road."

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

Virtual chicken crossing the road.

"I cross therefore I am."

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Personal foul. On the defense. Plucking the passer.'

'That's weird, do you smell barbecue sauce, Sarah'

Crowing Rehearsals

"Come on, Vinny! We already know you crossed the road. What we want to know is, why?"

"And don't get me started about being henpecked. Why do you think I crossed the road in the first place?!"

"I don't know what it is, we just look fabulous in Cranberry."

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'