Poultry Puns Gifts

'I can't believe this! Is there anyone here who isn't too chicken to jump?'

'I'm having turducken, chiquaduck, or duckailkey...you decide!'

The Rooster Comedian.

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Shouldn't there be some sort of pecking order around here?"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

On Sale Today Free Range Chickens...Back In One Hour.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Did that pig that went wee, wee, wee all the way have have foot and mouth?"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Hen Night

'You think irritable fowl syndrome is bad? Just wait until you hit menopause.'

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'