Poultry Pun Fan Gifts

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

'What? I've been cut from the team!??'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Cupid misses his shot.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'Tasty bird.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Did that pig that went wee, wee, wee all the way have have foot and mouth?"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

Snacks. Food. Drinks. Win! Play! LOTTO here! I changed my name to "Lottery Ticket" and hang out here. It's a great place to get scratched!

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Suddenly, the line went dead.

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."