Poultry Pun Fan Gifts

Chicken and the Food Pyramid,

'What? I've been cut from the team!??'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

The Rooster Comedian.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Cupid misses his shot.

'Tasty bird.'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

"Did that pig that went wee, wee, wee all the way have have foot and mouth?"

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

The poultry mania - Cochin China Fowls

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."