Poultry Pun Collector Gifts

Chicken goes up to chicken wings stand, and says: 'Gimme two, and this time, make sure they work!'

The Rooster Comedian.

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

'This is taking too long - we'll have to induce hatching.'

'I don't think we should have any more eggs Chester. Maybe you should see the vet about having your chicken nuggets removed.'

The Bear Fax.

"Mum, what is a nugget?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

Bell Hop

Suddenly, the line went dead.

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

Spiv

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

"Dayum. She bootylicious."

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

"I'm being promoted in the company's pecking order."

"Cooky was askin' about you again."

'Don't worry, I would never tell the other free range chickens you're agoraphobic.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

'Well Mrs. Henson, form the looks of this place, egg stacking, children claw marks, chicken blood graffiti, egg splat everywhere, I'd have to say this is the work of a poultry geist!'

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'Don't worry about retirement Irma: There's more to life than just laying eggs...'

'We don't have pressed duck, but we could shove around a chicken for you.'

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

Brenda lost not only the egg toss, but something much, much more.

'And stop making that stupid clucking sound'

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

"Don't be alarmed, Lois, but there appears to be a pop-up thermometer protruding from your right buttock."

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

'Joe said he had some special bulbs.'

'You may want to consider diversifying your portfolio.'

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