Potluck Champion Gifts

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

Hot pot

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Church Basement Foodie

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

Starvation Watching

Midwest Winter Items.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"Another CSI spinoff? What's this one called?"

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'What a Summer of Sport, eh?'

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I have to know who brought this disgusting eucalyptus casserole!"

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Ball and Chain