Potluck Champion Pillows

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

Hot pot

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"Where do we put Desserts?"

"Doesn't seem like 6 hours on the couch, but you can't argue with a lethargy tracker."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Church Basement Foodie

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

"You'll love this model, sir! You won't have to miss any of the sports action when you go for a beer!"

'Now that's Real TV!'

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Midwest Winter Items.

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"That's Reubens, he's an alternate lifestyle coach."

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

'Ironically, sportswear is the most comfortable clothing for doing nothing in.'

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"I have to know who brought this disgusting eucalyptus casserole!"

"I want to be so successful that it ruins my life."

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Helen! I'm all settled in and I don't want to get up. Would you get the remote for me?'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

Ball and Chain

"The Procrastination World Championships were only a month away. He never trained so hard."

"Look, we're getting a recreation centre."

Hungry Panda Thirsty Hippo Curious Sloth

All you can eat buffet...speed limit: 750 calories per minute