Potluck Partiers Gifts

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Cocktails on the verandah.

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"I don't know anything about art, but this is a damned good Martini."

"Well there's no way I'm going to say 'whom'!"

Church Basement Foodie

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Baxter Higgleton, word balloon artist.

Midwest Winter Items.

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Hot pot

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"How much longer, roughly, will you be introducing me as a 'disgruntled Republican'?"

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Please forgive us for being so late- we had parking issues."

Once Again Jeff Had Put Too Much Helium In The Party Balloons.

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

Corpse Reviver Number 2

"Welcome to the Bermudez family Christmas party!"

" ... and this is my wife - I'm legally obligated to tell you that."

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"I have to know who brought this disgusting eucalyptus casserole!"

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

"I keep telling her she should do something with her stupid little online pieces."

"Seems like all of Nancy’s nonprofit work is going to her head."

'Here's a list of women I want you to stay away from at the party tonight.'

Turn on chat. Delete conversation.

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"