Post-apocalypse Planners Gifts

New York Lottery Jackpot: Go to the head of any gas line, with police escort.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Zombie Fish

How to survive the coming crash.

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

Post-Apocalypse Greeting Card

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Climate Change Contingency House

The final days of hair coloring

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

It's 11 p.m. do you know if your portfolio allocation will carry you through armageddon?

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

"Plan for pestilence and hope for war, or plan for war and hope for pestilence?"

Guide to making your undead years your best years.

'Of course this game is educational; how else could I prepare for a zombie apocalypse.'

'You think your son's is bad? You should see Jimmy's tomb. Clothes everywhere! Oh, Laura, it's not easy raising the dead.'