Apocalypse Planning Gifts

Climate Change Contingency House

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Zombie Fish

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

How to survive the coming crash.

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

The final days of hair coloring

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Ambitions... to be proved wrong."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

It's 11 p.m. do you know if your portfolio allocation will carry you through armageddon?

'Of course this game is educational; how else could I prepare for a zombie apocalypse.'

The apocalypse everyone has feared is finally here. Hi, I'm Theron Heir. I write Rudy Park. That's it? A scrawny guy in flip-flops and bermuda shorts, wearing a man-purse? Don't provoke him. Anything can be in that man-purse. I would think the apocalypse would be taller.