Apocalyptic Scenario Planner Gifts

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

The End is Nigh

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Tsunami Evac Route

Zombie Fish

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Climate Change Contingency House

The final days of hair coloring

'My backup special...'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."