Apocalypse Planners Gifts

The final days of hair coloring

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Time for bed, guys."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

The End is Nigh

"What the hell happened to this town?"

Prepper Dog

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Zombie Fish

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

"You have to fly me up there! I'm the only one who can help Godzilla with his form!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Climate Change Contingency House

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"Wait, wait, don't panic! I forgot to set the clock back."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'