Apocalypse Preparer Gifts

"We can't decide if we should pay out on your life policy, or not."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

Cheer up-things aren't so bad.....

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

"What the hell happened to this town?"

Energy Conservation Be Damned. Fred constantly prepared for Global Warming and Nuclear Winter to happen at the same time.

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

I figured out how these folks keep guaranteeing the precise day the world ends. Shhh. Keep it down. Why? It's a scam? If you read the read the fine print, they are promising that the world will begin to end that day. Could take forever. It's a no-lose scam … Shhh! What? It's scary when the world might end. There are a lot of people out there who need comforting. Women people, I presume. Women people, I presume. Who take comfort in necking. And you belittle their fears?

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

How to survive the coming crash.

"Every time Trump wins a primary, we get one step closer."

When a nanosecond is forever.

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"Don't sweat the huge stuff."

'I've been carrying these placards around for over twenty years! It's about time!'

The final days of hair coloring

'My backup special...'

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

"Your 401(k) is a low-risk investment, other than a few stocks that happen to finance the end of human civilization as we know it."

An doomsayer stands at a waterfalls' edge.

Llamageddon and the Alpacalypse

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

"Actually, I will have fries with that."

I survived end of the world after party.