Apocalypse Planners Pillows

The final days of hair coloring

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Time for bed, guys."

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

The End is Nigh

Prepper Dog

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Zombie Fish

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Death, Pestilence, (Drugs) War, Famine.

Demonization: Fifth Horseman of the Apocalypse.

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

"You have to fly me up there! I'm the only one who can help Godzilla with his form!"

How to survive the coming crash.

'No, Brian, an asteroid impact would never take us by surprise like it did the dinosaurs because we're highly intelligent and they were very stupid and dull-witted.'

Climate Change Contingency House

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

'My backup special...'

'The end is near.'

"I've half a mind to protest."

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

'I went in to get my mortgage renewed. I said: 'Make it for eight months and four days!'. . . Am I only the one who thinks the world ends in December?'

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

"Wait, wait, don't panic! I forgot to set the clock back."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

When he runs out of beans, Lou discovers that civilization was not, after all, destroyed on January 1, 2001.

Doomsdayers recycle pamphlets in case they are wrong.

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'