Pool Enthusiast Gifts

'This pool's no fun - all they let you do is swim.'

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

Stuck behind the eight ball.

"This is my new pool Rodney...yeah, I know it doesn't take up too much of the garden but it is 100ft deep!"

'Not very big is it?' - 'No, but it's 85 feet deep.'

Pool shark

Refraction

Second wave

A swimmer doing the breast stroke on an armchair.

'I know that you like to keep your books straight, George, but it was only 5p!'

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

"It's the deep end."

'I didn't know you had a heated pool!'

A jockey rides a pool toy.

"Hanging out at the shallow end."

Swimming Prankster

"You want a flotation device? Huh boy? Flotation device?"

Cartoon showing a man swimming, when another swimmer has dived, bounced off his stomach and smashed through the ceiling.

"You're right. It is easier with the ball."

"Get Back in!"

Different players, same old story.

"Wait an hour after eating to swim? Mom, this is America. We never stop eating."

"The side effects from these drugs should glance off each other to good effect...like a carom shot in billiards."

This is the last time I host a pool themed birthday party!"

A Swimmer Doing Breastroke

"When you said you were up to 50 laps, I was impressed. But that was until I saw the size of your pool."

'This place is a dive...'

'Next time, bring the kid, lose the duckie.'

'You misheard...I said it's a shame we're losing our 'lido''.

Grandpa cheats death, puts in a pool.

The kids wanted a puppy, but we don't have the yard for it.

'Swimming is the healthiest sport. . . Because it's the only one where you can't smoke while you're doing it.'

Summer Sketches - The 4-sous baths

'You guys close your pool yet?' 'Yes, we let the air out last week.'