Ponytail Perfectionist Gifts

Cat & Pony Show

'Tell Tale' - The Drawbacks of Over-Tight Ponytails

'You've got the right hair!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The Questioner'

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Personnel - "This letter of recommendation is full of misspellings!"

"I know! I know! I K-n-o-w!. . . Um, what was the question?"

Dating an English Major

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Shakespeare loved a grammar joke

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

Job Interview Gone Bad.

Ironing Punctuation

"I've grown numb to exclamation points."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

I have taken over Sarahs body!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

“The two spaces after a period were a dead giveaway.”

"I''' have the misspelled 'Ceasar' salad and the improperly hyphenated veal osso-buco."

'I can't take all the credit... I used spell-check.'

'I'll take the one on the right.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

"Well, this might explain all of the recent punctuation errors."

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"I used two spaces after every period."