Poodle Perfectionist Gifts

'Short bark and sdes please.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

'I can 'YO', but the second 'YO' isn't working!'

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Just a drop."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

An inbred poodle.

"Wanna go out?"

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

A perm for a woman and her dog.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

Every year, the poodleboys gather to test their skills in the Beverly Kills Rodeo Championships.

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

'And the kids will go on treating the place like an hotel if you keep leaving them chocolate mints on their pillows.'

"How'd it happen?

'Your backswing's too slow!'

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"