Poodle Pampering Pro Gifts

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

Why Poodles Become Killers

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

Dogs can dream too.

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"He wants a second opinion."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Dog Chow Mein

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The Clipping

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'