Poodle Pampering Pro T-Shirts

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

Presidential Pooch Meets The Press

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

Why Poodles Become Killers

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

Dog Basket - I consent to petting.

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

'I do not pamper the dog, now get out of his chair!'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

Wild animal - 1,500 years later...

'I'm sorry about the slippers...but I do need the roghage.'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

Dogs can dream too.

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"C'mon already...that lipstick really isn't my shade."

"He wants a second opinion."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"Well, it looks like you found Rexy's sweet spot!"

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Ears up - wag that tail - soulful expression - he is YOURS!'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

Dog Chow Mein

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

The Clipping

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"See, I told you he didn't want to go out."