Pet Pampering Pro Gifts

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'My personal trainer, massage therapists, hair stylist and chef.'

The Clipping

"You knew I was a clean breed when you got me."

'I'm sorry Jane, but this time your anthropomorphism has gone too far.'

'You spoil that dog.'

The call of the wild.

My Bowl Is Empty.

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

Why Poodles Become Killers

"She's okay...just enjoying some much needed me-ow time."

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Dogs can dream too.

'Bath-time used to be a nightmare, but then I discovered bubble bath: Now he loves it!'

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"Sniff, sniff, NICE! Smells like butt!"

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Happy 126th birthday, girl!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Bitchbark Canoe

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

I guess she had other plans for you.

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

'I know you're worried about Tibby, Mrs. Lutz, but we simply don't allow people to stay overnight with their pets.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

The day the cat realized it was dependent.