Poodle Perfectionist Pillows

'Short bark and sdes please.'

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

"Nobody's perfect, but we're working on it."

Golfer hanging from tree branch to play difficult shot.

"Well, if she didn't insist on giving me this stupid look, she wouldn't need to buy me coats in winter..."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Oooooh....a western wear dog cone. Sexy!"

"Yeah well, now that we're married, he's not making any effort: he hasn't been to a grooming appointment in months!"

'Do you have any golf balls that are not attracted to water, sand or trees?'

'I can 'YO', but the second 'YO' isn't working!'

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

'Hey Are you sniffing at my girlfriend's ae'

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"So I play this guy named Stan Snorkel who finds a big, gray poodle..."

"Just a drop."

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

Standard Poodle/Substandard Poodle

A perm for a woman and her dog.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"Wanna go out?"

An inbred poodle.

''Pet of the Year', That's me!'

'And the kids will go on treating the place like an hotel if you keep leaving them chocolate mints on their pillows.'

'Sorry Mum, but the silly haircut kind of ruins my body builder image...'

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

Every year, the poodleboys gather to test their skills in the Beverly Kills Rodeo Championships.

"Can they REALLY be descended from wolves..??"

'Your backswing's too slow!'

Best in Heat.