Pooch Perfectionist Gifts

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Litterary Dogs.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

Dog Wrestling.

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

"I've got the bowl, the bone, the big yard. I know I should be happy."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

Best in Heat.

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

"Bring us a bottle of your best toilet water."

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

"We've only got one parrot remember."

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"I've pretended to be interested in that breed many times."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

Simple Dog Humour

Tough Guy