Pooch Perfectionist T-Shirts

Blue-nosed pointer: 'Naughty, naughty!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'He rides in the car with his head out the window a lot.'

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Litterary Dogs.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"I've been calling, but he's not picking up."

Dog Wrestling.

"No you, he called you a lap dog."

'Sure, I could be independent, but it's so much nicer to allow myself to be spoiled rotten by Mistress...'

"I've got the bowl, the bone, the big yard. I know I should be happy."

Dog wearing a cone around his waist: 'Hemorrhoids.'

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

"Actually, There's a lot less pressure since I've gone from his best friend to his therapy dog."

"We should probably stop calling each other 'Fluffy's person' and 'Fifi's person' and learn each other's real names - now that we're married I mean."

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

"I think that I shall never see a tree on which I wouldn't pee."

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Best in Heat.

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

'I'm looking for an eight minute mile pace. Ready, and ...'

'Don't you think you're spoiling that dog,Dorothy?'

"Bring us a bottle of your best toilet water."

'I forgot to tell you... he's part Spitz.'

"Funny how he always goes in the same spot."

"We've only got one parrot remember."

"I have no skills. . . only tricks."

-'I'd like a doggy bag.' -'And make it a big one.'

"I've pretended to be interested in that breed many times."

Simple Dog Humour