Pet Perfectionist Gifts

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

How to be your own best friend...

'Do yo think his beak need trimming?'

Putting insist on clean underwear each morning, and a freshly ironed dog.

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

Perfection

"I refuse to discuss my selfless passion for public service until my hair, makeup and lighting are perfect."

"You're welcome."

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'I don't understand it - there was a little pile of solar dust from Advanced Composition Explorer right here a moment ago.'

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

"It's all about appealing to my target demographic."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Meat Poultry Fish. Genetically Modified Christmas Turkeys. Order Now. They inserted kangaroo DNA to make a product for stuffing, and octopus DNA so everybody gets a drumstick!

Social lens of the photojournalist

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

Wanting his picnic with Gwen to be perfect, Hal made sure they would not be bothered by ants.

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

Woman trying to straighten a picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

A conductor practising in front of a mirror.

"Baldo, I finally got that stain out of your favorite shirt! Of course, I had to use my scissors."

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."

"Don't make me look fat!"

"He hasn't the heart to discharge her. She's been with him for years."

"That's pretty good, but can you fetch or play dead?"

"Sir, you may find this book very helpful, too."

"Come on, we're late. Your crosshatching looks fine."

"Dang it, my eyes were closed - take another one!"

"Are you going to finish that? I'm auditioning for a 'That Cat Is Too Damn Fat' video."