Pet Care Perfectionist Gifts

"My human majored in 'business' management."

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

"Relax, Dad... I'll put your toothbrush away when I'm done. I always do."

'A case of V/D prescription diet, please!'

"Point one: Your litterbox will be changed precisely every other day. Point two: These continued theatrics are not furthering your cause."

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Dog Walking Services

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Look, children are just pathetic substitutes for people who can't have pets."

'Guess who just graduated cum laude from Sunnydale Obedience School?'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Cloning is an imperfect science."

Why Poodles Become Killers

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

Dogs can dream too.

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

"What we have here is a severe case of over-growing."

A Change of Scene.

"Sorry - my dog is at the vet. This one is a loaner."

'Who's next?'

Doris was determined to save money on cat parlour fees!

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

Taking goldfish for a walk.

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

'Forget about building trust. Just give the dog a bath.'

'Here, take these... we're going to need a urine sample from him right now.'

My Bowl Is Empty.

'Good thing you called me... Yes, they've mixed worming powder with your food...'

"You're spoiling that dog again!"