Polyamory Ponderer Gifts

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I don't know why I worry...Baldo's just a normal boy. It's good to see him maturing...making friends...with nice girls...exploring new feelings...and desires.... You have to go home now."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Sex Education

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

Frog Baby Names

Dog Igloo.

'Mummy, what's a daddy one of those called?'

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"That would've gone better if I'd gotten here with my gift list instead of my spelling list."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'I've discovered that smart doesn't make you popular: Cool does...'

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Fingers

Polar Bear Desert Island

Oh yeah, that's right. Now everyone wants to know the radiator cow.

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Quantum Breakup

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Gets Repossessed

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"This is an octagon after cutbacks."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

'It's the end, McEvoy - no tank can take on a German Vagina Dentata!'

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"The latest numbers are in. More voters want you to drop out than to run."

The Daisy: 2005

'In with the warden !'

'So, how does my future look?'

'Enough about me. Let's talk about you. But let's not rush into talking about you...'

'Don't worry, dear -- The bust is yet to come.'

Wait for it....