Serial Monogamist Ponderer Gifts

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

Lost and Profound.

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

Cat playing with a Brain

Selfie-Conscious

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"You'll make a good first wife."

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

Tavern: Diluting The Reality of Your Meaningless Existence Since 1967!

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?' Francis has always struggled with philosophy.

Monogamy

"Stop saying my name, I'm trying to stay incognito! Too many former partners looking for alimony payments in this neighbourhood..."

"Why can't we have a discussion without it escalating into a shouting match?"

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

'Trying to find yourself, eh? — have you tried Google?'

'No thanks, darling. If I ate cake at all my weddings, I'd weigh a ton.'

"Psst... You could always buy another lunch at lunchtime."

'If global warming is real...how come your feet never get any warmer?'

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

'We're a lifestyle magazine for the terminally ill.'

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"There I trust that settles it."

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

The Moral Highway.