Serial Monogamist Gifts

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'Frigid - who's frigid? - just ask Alistair and Simon and Brett and that chap who came to fix the blinds.'

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"He sounds like a classic first husband."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"You'll make a good first wife."

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"I've been to all his weddings."

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"I'm convinced...we've both been married one too many times!"

Monogamy

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

"Stop saying my name, I'm trying to stay incognito! Too many former partners looking for alimony payments in this neighbourhood..."

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

"Years are like my previous five marriages. You welcome them with big expectations, but you end hating them."

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"She's on her fifth soul mate."

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

"I hate how she seems to think that she's so much more depressed than everyone else."

'Hooked on the soaps? Why, you poor thing -- of course we can put you on disability!'

"Stop talking to people at bus stops."