Serial Monogamist T-Shirts

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'Frigid - who's frigid? - just ask Alistair and Simon and Brett and that chap who came to fix the blinds.'

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"He sounds like a classic first husband."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"I've been to all his weddings."

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"You'll make a good first wife."

"This is a great place to work...they give you a day off every time you get married!"

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"I'm convinced...we've both been married one too many times!"

Monogamy

"Years are like my previous five marriages. You welcome them with big expectations, but you end hating them."

"I'm not interested in the meaning of life...I want to know what's going to happen in my soap"

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

"Stop saying my name, I'm trying to stay incognito! Too many former partners looking for alimony payments in this neighbourhood..."

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

"She's on her fifth soul mate."

"I hate how she seems to think that she's so much more depressed than everyone else."

'Hooked on the soaps? Why, you poor thing -- of course we can put you on disability!'