Monogamy Philosopher T-Shirts

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'When Einstein wrote about time and relativity he must have been watching a football game where the last 30 seconds took two hours.'

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"Doesn't it make sense to move Casual Friday to Monday?"

You are cordially invited...

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

"Like the old saying goes, when the cat's away, the mouse better not do anything that'll get him choked out when the cat gets back."

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

"Norman, the proper response is 'I do'...not 'If I have to'!"

"You'll make a good first wife."

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"You take small bites out life, Howard, and chew thoroughly."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

Men's Fragrances

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"She asked for a divorce, but I outsmarted her and ran into the next room."

Woman on a pedestal who married the planning expert.

"Baby it's cold outside..."

"You're poison, Lauren, but, these days, what isn't?"

"I always cry at weddings because I'm philosophically opposed to the institution of marriage."

"Time has come for me to take a wife."

"Yes, dear, I like the idea of repeating our vows — but let's change some stuff."