Marriage Philosophers T-Shirts

"Norman, the proper response is 'I do'...not 'If I have to'!"

"Remember - no mention of planned obsolescence."

Marriage least expected to last...

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

The Sleeping Congregation.

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'We're looking for a minister who recognizes that relationships have a built in obsolesces.'

How's your marriage working out? I'm considering the foreign legion...but I doubt whether they'll take her.

"You don't have to say anthing, but anything you do say may later be used in court by a divorce lawyer."

"Now that that's over, let me tell you what I'm really like"

"When I die, I'd like to die having sex..."

"The Tudballs got married by a judge. I still say a jury should have been present!"

You are cordially invited...

'And will you take this man to the cleaners....'

A Man Visits A Doctor To Ask About Marriage.

Cards: Wedding / You've Changed / You don't Understand Me / I'm Leaving! / I'm going for a pint!

"I'd like you to meet my Husband 2.0!"

Marriage Exit Strategy

"Look—let's just get past today, O.K.?"

"If I get married, will that count as a capital gain?"

"She's high maintenance. I love her."

'One thing I need clarified: if we marry in church, is there any point in a pre-nuptial agreement?'

'Darling what will you give me for this ring?'

'Nobody really agrees about what marriage is these days, so I'll just say 'Yadda yadda yadda.''

Stay Tuned

"Martha, are you sure you're not marrying me for money?"

"You know what I bet it is? I bet we're breaking up but we just don't realize it yet."

"Look, all I'm asking is that we let market forces bring a greater degree of efficiency into our marriage."

"But it's supposed to be recreational sex, not guilt sex."

"I married him for his intelligence, turns out that was artificial as well!"