Serial Monogamist Ponderer T-Shirts

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

Lost and Profound.

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Decisions: Yes or No, 'Or maybe?'

Cat playing with a Brain

Selfie-Conscious

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"You'll make a good first wife."

"If you don't have anything profound to say, don't say anything at all."

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

"I'd like something profound, witty, and outrageously irreverent."

Monogamy

'Who crossed the road first, the chicken or the egg?' Francis has always struggled with philosophy.

"Stop saying my name, I'm trying to stay incognito! Too many former partners looking for alimony payments in this neighbourhood..."

'Trying to find yourself, eh? — have you tried Google?'

"Why can't we have a discussion without it escalating into a shouting match?"

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

'No thanks, darling. If I ate cake at all my weddings, I'd weigh a ton.'

"There I trust that settles it."

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

'If global warming is real...how come your feet never get any warmer?'

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

'We're a lifestyle magazine for the terminally ill.'

"Psst... You could always buy another lunch at lunchtime."

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

The Moral Highway.

"Well, how long do you want to live?"