Serial Monogamy Enthusiast Gifts

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"You again, Paul?! Hey, you must know this ceremony inside out!"

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

Quantum Breakup

"Ideally, husbands should be spaced at least three years apart."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"You'll make a good first wife."

"Three. How many times you been married?"

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

"Do you Death, take this woman until life do you part?"

"I'm convinced...we've both been married one too many times!"

Monogamy

"Years are like my previous five marriages. You welcome them with big expectations, but you end hating them."

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

"Stop saying my name, I'm trying to stay incognito! Too many former partners looking for alimony payments in this neighbourhood..."

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

A misunderstanding between two passengers

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

When Tia Carmen says... "It is not only what we do that we are held responsible for, but also for what we do not do." it means...she's writing to the network asking that they not kill off her favorite telenovela character.

'Frigid - who's frigid? - just ask Alistair and Simon and Brett and that chap who came to fix the blinds.'

'Will the Buffo cure Gwendolyn's headache? Will it upset her stomach? Tune in to tomorrow's commercial and find out!'

"She's on her fifth soul mate."

'Hooked on the soaps? Why, you poor thing -- of course we can put you on disability!'

'Bigamists dramatic society present: 7 brides for 2 Brothers'