Marriage Ponderer Gifts

'I don't care what HE says...one wife is enough and I'm not taking yours with me.'

'Guns-shmuns! -- What this country needs is a ten-day waiting period for MARRIAGE!'

'Could you put a little more emphasis on the 'for richer' part?'

'But marriage is such a big responsibility, Jenny--maybe they should wait a few years.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

'Well, great! I raise you to be a vicious bird of prey, and you wanna be a songbird!'

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

"Have you seen my wife?"