Marriage Ponderer Gifts

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, I am a 24-year-old man. The woman I am about to marry is having second thoughts because she believes that we are too young. What do you think? - Jacob. Actual reader letter. Great question. When is the right time to marry? Randy, our commitment expert, would you like to handle this one? Jacob, really, what were you expecting?! Medic! Randy's not moving.

'I don't care what HE says...one wife is enough and I'm not taking yours with me.'

'Guns-shmuns! -- What this country needs is a ten-day waiting period for MARRIAGE!'

'Could you put a little more emphasis on the 'for richer' part?'

'But marriage is such a big responsibility, Jenny--maybe they should wait a few years.'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Sorry, that was just the wet diaper talking."

'And when your mother said that you would never be an Olympic gymnast, how did that make you feel?'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Hey Mum, look what I caught!'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Mom says she has a souffl

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"Weeds are like kids. They grow up so fast."

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"I needed a gig to tide me over between baby booms."

"Really? After all these years of you begging me to let you come and howl at the moon, now that you're a teenager, it's not cool to be seen with your dad!"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'Male, 38, still living with his parents. They asked us to keep him overnight, so they could change the locks.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'It's not that I don't want more kids Victoria, I'm worried I won't have enough skin for their names.'

'WOW, congratulations, Ma'am! You're having Quads!'

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"it's just... we're too lazy to have any of our own."

'When are you going to take it out of its original package?'

'Ted, you won't climb the corporate ladder if you keep taking paternity leave!'