Modern Relationship Ponderer Gifts

"erm...rethink..Adam and Eric doesn't seem to work..."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Truth

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"Have you seen my wife?"

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

"Don't forget to come back."

"Yes, we know them. We like them, but we're not crazy about, you know, the other him."

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

"Well, we can eat out, order in, or just sit here and let our bodies slowly gnaw away at our muscle tissue."

"I'm giving love one more try."

"And, because a princess can't be forced to testify against her prince, they lived happily ever after."

"I find it hard to perform in these market conditions."

"Remember when we used to flock together, instead of just tweeting all day on line?"

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Apropo of nothing, would you still love me if I were a sausage?"

"Do you ever think of getting married?"

'Look, it's nothing to be ashamed of. We chose to get married before living together.'