Modern Romance Ponderer Gifts

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'A frog prince?... Not that old line again!'

"Why don't you ever put your hand on my knee?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"It's about the murder of an editor who refuses to publish a writer's work..."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

Truth

The sad case of the blind-men and the elephant.

"Have you seen my wife?"

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

Mega Studios. Ideas for new movies dept. Stop goofing off and watch some television!

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'As is the fashion these days, it's about nothing.'

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"If you were the only man in the world, and I were the only woman. . . would we still have to diet?"

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

He's very disciplined about his writing, three hours staring at a blank screen every morning and five in the afternoon.

"I'm basically happy but I'd like a most cost-effective personality."

'I really like him but I can't bear waiting for THE LUNGE'

Bowther, Wilkin, Lynch & Fisk

"I'm afraid you will have to sign a non-disclosure agreement."