Romantic Ponderer Gifts

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'Must we do everything together?'

'I'm getting back into the dating scene. What's the protocol these days...is it him or me who texts first during dinner?'

'When we first got married, Warren was crazy about me -- now he's just crazy.'

"I'm not sure if my boyfriend doesn't love me enough, or if he just isn't earning enough."

"If it isn't genetic at all, but just the upshot of growing up in Jersey, will you still love me, Mona?"

Politically Correct Susan

'If you had to give up either wine or women, which would you choose?'

'I'm not fat, I'm tall! I just grew forward instead of upwards!'

"If I'm supposed to be going out with Steve...why do I really really like going to bed on my own with my cat Roger?"

'She loves me just the way I am...when she loves me.'

'She treats me like every other pebble on the beach.'

"Seriously, Baldo, you like a girl and she likes you back, nature takes its course. Don't worry about it."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

Girl texting crush thinking "He loves me...he loves me not."

Bus Stop Thoughts

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

The Forbidden Joyce Kilmer

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Oh No!! - I'm deciduous..."

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"Well, at first I didn't like him. But then his creepiness just grew on me."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

Writer