Romantic Gesture Ponderer Gifts

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Rude Snowpeople

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

Mexican Serenade.

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

"OK, what have you done?"

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.

'Marry me!'

"Have you seen my wife?"

'Wow, that was unforgettable.'-'What was?'