Romantic Gesture Ponderer Pillows

"Oh look Harold, a flower shop!"

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

'The ones with the teethmarks are the had centers.'

Rude Snowpeople

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Dad fixed you a balanced breakfast - the runny eggs are balanced with burnt toast!"

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

Frank, this is carrying safe sex too far.

A man carries a huge bouquet of flowers.

"So I gave her the 2-diamond love-and-BFFF ring and she grave me a big kiss, sold it, and went on a cruise. That's bad, right?!"

'I'm very impressed that you ordered the entire meal in French. Pity it's a Chinese restaurant...'

"You big softy! How did you know I'm tired of being fought over?"

Mexican Serenade.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"A cluck cluck here and a cluck cluck there,...is that all I meant to you?"

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

"Just once, when you bring me a bouquet of flowers can you not pull it from your sleeve?!"

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"Say it with Pierogies"

"Being a celebrated artist, I do sometimes wonder why you never celebrate me."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"Have you seen my wife?"

"OK, what have you done?"

"Oh Adam. This is the second...sorry, I mean third happiest day of my life."

'Marry me!'

"I've finally found my soulmate."

Meaningful...Meaningless relationships.