Polyamory Gifts

"Honey, I know I agreed to an open marriage, but maybe we could close it just a smidge."

Quantum Breakup

"Yes, one of my husbands IS an imposter, but one can get stains out of the carpet and the other can bake, so it all works out."

Just Friends

"I met my first husband at Bloomingdale's and my second husband at Banana Republic."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Orator translates in many languages.

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"Monogamy works for me, but it doesn't work for Enid."

"Our guest is Dr. Paul Veblin, renowned marriage counselor and resident of nearby Southport, where he lives with his 6th wife."

"Is it important for a politician to speak a number of languages?"

'I sit here and solve mathematical problems, program electronic music, analyze architectral possibilities...but somehow being a Renaissance man isn't what it used to be.'

"My communication skills are excellent, thank you. Just because nobody in the office understands Ayapaneco."

'Will this be a never-ending romance, David?'

"Three. How many times you been married?"

'Oh, yeah! I've forgotten more about aniomic polymerization in molecular adsorbates...than you'll ever know.'

'He can ignore you in seven different languages.'

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'Still adding to your collection, Sir?'

Monogamy

A woman balances two men on a tightrope.

Bilingual

"Any idea why the organist is playing 'Here we are again'?"

'That girl speaks eighteen languages and she can't say 'no' in any of them!'

"Pierre Trudeau said to stay out of Canadian's bedrooms, but this interesting!"

"This dress seems a little tight. I must've gained a little weight since the last time I wore it."

"Hands up all those who know what language we speak."

"As you probably heard me telling Liz, I'd like to start seeing other twins."

"She's on her fifth soul mate."

'Frigid - who's frigid? - just ask Alistair and Simon and Brett and that chap who came to fix the blinds.'

'Bigamists dramatic society present: 7 brides for 2 Brothers'

Polyamory Breakups