Plumbing Pundit Gifts

'The cure for spider bites, John, is indoor plimbling.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

Septic Fields Forever.

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

"I know it saved costs but I still think a flyover would have been better."

I hate it when they start without us.

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

Gas Supply To Europe

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

"You should have called earlier."

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

My mission is to get to the spacestation before the plumber does!