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'The cure for spider bites, John, is indoor plimbling.'

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

"If you can read this, tell me if I need to hike up my pants."

"And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!"

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

Septic Fields Forever.

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

I hate it when they start without us.

"I know it saved costs but I still think a flyover would have been better."

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Hot Water from the bath.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"You should have called earlier."

History Class Moved to Room 318. The class relocated because of this mess. The pipe breaking was a "history changing" event.

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

My mission is to get to the spacestation before the plumber does!

Gas Supply To Europe