Plumbing Joker Gifts

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Ships plumber reporting for duty.'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

"I quit going to sea, and now I'm a plumber's helper."

'He's the ship's plumber, Captain.'

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

In Case of Emergency Break Glass

Hot Water from the bath.

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

'Mom!!'

Man using a plunger on his horn.

"Thank goodness you're here! My husband is trying to fix it himself!"

Dog Urinals.

Sponsoring a Panda

"I'm recording this so next time I swear, you'll know where I got it from."

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'Yeah, I think we might need to call a plumber. It's overflowing again.'

'Vienna Brass Ensemble'

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

"People are always discriminating against my dad. At work, people say, 'clean up that spill' and 'get under the sink.'"

'Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.'

A case where bigger isn't necessarily better.

'Just this tap to fit son, then the job is done.'

Man Whose Face Is Obscured By An Apple Flushing Himself Down A Toilet.