Plumbing Hobbyist Gifts

'Not only did I fix the leak, but when you run the hot water it plays 'Harlem Nocturne'.'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'I think you should seek treatment for that Lego block obsession of yours!'

Bob’s Museum

'No it's still not fixed'

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

DO IT YOURSELF - Four new jobs we'll all have to do ourselves

"Tell me, do you own a mallet with a rubber shaft?"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

'This is your idea of converting your boat to a sailboat, a sheet? And while we're on the topic, is that one of my good sheets?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

As icebergs form in the river, a man's house breaks up similarly

Construction safety.

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

'I've been having a lot of out of potty experiences, lately.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

Project Supreme Fuel Efficiency

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

"I think you should turn the water temperature down a bit. The water melted through the tub and then through the floor."

"This is where DIY projects go to die."

I hate it when they start without us.