Plumbing Obsessed Gifts

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'No it's still not fixed'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

'If the drain's clogged with food, why not clean it out with some high fiber bran flakes?'

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

'My phone's been tapped!'

'When did you swallow the coin?'

"Excuse me Mr. Plumber, my son just called, please be careful not to disturb his genetically altered aquatic scorpion colony."

Septic Fields Forever.

"I'm afraid your bath is directly connected to the melting polar ice caps."

'Well... at least we know the basement doesn't leak.'

'Here's the problem,the pilot light went out.'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

'My client is therefore NOT guilty of malpractice. All he is guilty of is an error in judgment. He should have decided to be a plumber."

'It's Clegged up, Mrs - I'm afraid it means another U-turn!'

I hate it when they start without us.

'That's your limescale problem sorted.'

'Ok, who didn't leave a faucet to drip so the pipes wouldn't freeze!'

Gimme 400 rolls of duct tape.

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

"You should have called earlier."

I have a low flow toilet ... but not by design.

"If I can't be a plumber's apprentice, can I be a plumber's helper?"

'Mom, I said if you want to live in this neighbourhood, keep a weapon at your disposal.'

'I don't want to go up after Yang's dad.'

My mission is to get to the spacestation before the plumber does!